Nerves and Nausea

So the day started off at my parents house since I stayed over last night, I am always trying all of these new healthy recipes, always searching for more each week to keep things different. The last time I went over to their house I made this really good and different chicken thing, plus I don't really eat beef very often anymore because it grosses me out so I am pretty much looking for chicken or veggie recipes. Anyhow- I made this one recipe, it was ok but it wasn't like I would make it again because there are far better ones out there so I kind of felt like that was a letdown. But I had made some coconut flour mini carrot cake muffins that turned out really great and fully "legal" as we like to say at our house when you're eating healthy. It really put me in this great mood that Ive been baking and in general trying all of these new amazing recipes for the gluten free, low carb, detox stuff. I have some hopes and dreams again, its all coming back to me now!

My mom and I went out to lunch which was nice but for some reason my Endo pain is just kicking my butt. I was in the middle of this amazing bacon and spinach salad when my pain kept getting worse and worse, it was to the point where I could feel like face getting hotter and redder. I had even put on a thermacare heat patch thing but it wasn't touching the pain. Plus I don't have any meds and am kind of screwed on that whole front. When I feel like that, I always end up in the bathroom I feel the need. So there was a lady in there before me in the other stall which was very awkward because it was dead silent... she was obviously pooping and I was not sure what was happening with me so we kept on taking turns flushing just so it wasn't silent in there, which was kind of humorous because we didn't speak any words the whole time. Eventually, I got out of there and felt a bit better but still pain. My mom was getting her jacket on and said how she was about to come check on me because I was in there so long... which I didn't even realize. We went for a short walk before my appt next to this amazing view of the piers, but again I had to cut it even shorter than expected because I was just in so much pain again once we started walking.

The dermatologist office called yesterday and asked if I wanted to come in today instead of waiting a couple weeks and I said yes of course! As for the Derm appt today, I was pretty much terrified of getting anything biopsied because I'm a wimp when I know something is coming. I can handle all the surgeries in the world but say I need a blood draw or your going to stick some kind of needle in me and NO THANKS! But if its necessary then I will do it, and I don't complain I just get super anxious and feel like vomiting. I knew he wouldn't like the looks of the ones on my feet, one is on the bottom of my foot which all of them seemed to be freaked out by... I'm thinking must be kind of rare to see. The other was on the other foot and used to look like a moon since I was a kid and now is gross and raised, sick looking. Then he did a mole check, talk about up close and personal for a first doc visit but hey at least its not a Pelvic Exam! He shined this light all over and checked everything, I showed him one on my neck I had worried about but my family doctor had said it was nothing, well the Derm said it was something and wanted that one biopsied too... and another one on top of that. So 4 to be biopsied... I am nervous. He said he would've done them today but he was going to be out of town the rest of this week or next or something like that, and that foot biopsies can get infected much easier than other places on the body and he wants me to be able to get ahold of him.... another thing that freaks me out. Plus he tells me that its rare but with the one that's on the bottom of my foot, once it gets biopsied it could get a scar tissue thing where I will always feel that when I step... which whatever as long as I can get my shoes on!

I don't know much about Moles or things like that but it does freak me out. I have known people who had one mole biopsied and were flipping their lids... so I feel like am I overreacting or do I have a right to be worried? Yes I know I cannot control the situation only God controls the situations and life in general... but still. I am a bundle of nerves and feel like my family is looking at me like I'm nuts. We shall see what God has in store for this lady right here in a couple weeks or so.