Its amazing how some things don't change. Some things people don't want to change like their children growing up or their waist size... and other things like negativity or family drama never ceases. I can just feel it all around me and makes me very negative and feel like I'm being lied to. I don't know why when I bring a random person's name up that usually isn't associated with drama, if my sibling has talked crap about that person THAN its like their is some huge secret and no one fills me in. Meanwhile I am left in the dust and talking to this person not knowing if they have some evil plan against some of my family or what. All I want is for people to give me the same honesty I give them. Its becoming more obvious that the tight relationship I thought we all shared isn't as tight in their mind if they can keep stupid secrets from me that their is no reason for me to go tattle about or anything so there is no reason not to tell me. I hate feeling stupid. Tonight was my "birthday dinner" and I just felt like an idiot being here, kind of a "what is the point"? If I wasn't taking care of their dog this weekend and dropping them off I wouldn't have come, it feels too soon. Nothing has changed yet and for me to be able to handle this bullshit... something has to give.
My workouts are slowing down now because my pain is increasing greatly and that also is bumming me out, not that I was losing weight or anything. But I was proud of myself and now I'm... I don't know with myself. I'm doing decently with the Gluten free stuff but tonight my birthday torte wasn't and some of the veg had gluten in the sauce... I didn't know until after. GF is hard... I wish there wasn't gluten in anything. Its not like you can complain because the person is trying to do something nice for you but at the same time its frustrating because they know you cant have gluten and they don't research anything ahead of time. Ugh.... I need to stop this negative before it takes me down harder.
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