I feel like this is a big step for me in the right direction. Too many negative things have been going on for far too long and need to get back into realm of possibilities and hope. I was painting and doing things for myself for a while but eventually life kicked in and I didn't have time for that. Now I am making time! I have started this Paleo diet or rather a better way of eating plus the whole Special K for breakfast which really is just cornflakes I think. Plus now I am doing Pilate's and doing Zumba workouts, already lost 7lbs and hopes I can keep it up. Not to whine or anything but gee, I wish the pain would stop! It makes me feel so good mentally to work out and do this all for me.... but once the pain kicks in I sit there wondering why did I do this to myself? Will I really make myself go through this again tomorrow?
Then I do. I am addicted to trying to fix my flaws. I mean my husband already puts up with me being moody and not able to do much around the house at least I could look nice right? Why not?! Plus...honestly, it would be kind of nice to loose a bunch of weight and then back to the doctors that said, "If you lose weight, the pain will disappear!" and rub their noses in it when I am still in pain but look hot. I will ask them what now? What is your magical 'cure' this time?
I think any person who deals with chronic pain can understand a place where you want to better yourself but at some point it ends up feeling like torture if the things you need to do causes you more pain. This is the reason in the past it hasn't worked for me, but I feel good about this go-around! I feel like with support from my family and friends I could really do it. I may be in pain but at least I will look good... that's what is important now-a-days right? Isn't that what I have been hearing so much about?
