Gluten-Free Haze

Ive been meaning to post about this since figuring out I was Gluten free but it seems like almost everyday I find something that I messed up on and had a tiny bit of Gluten that causes pain... so felt like I shouldn't. But now I realize that this seems to be the normal thing for people to experience when they first HAVE to start eating this way.

I knew there was Gluten in soy sauce so I had picked some up from this small store about an hour away that is made with coconut enzymes or something, haven't tried it yet but it was lower sodium than the other one. But it seems like each day I look into the fridge or try and figure out what to plan out for dinner there is gluten in every damn marinade, sauce, anything.... Then I have to pour the whatever it happens to be that day down the drain. Its hard, I'm not a waster. Plus, to buy the GF version of foods/sauces its much more expensive and its smaller sizes too.

After the super bowl on Sunday, my husband really wanted some pizza and I had been craving some too and since that was my "cheat" day to eat something with a bit more carbs, I was in! We go to order somewhere in our small town(we have like 4 pizza places)... none do GF. So... we looked online to see who even has GF, a couple places about an hour away. Again more expensive for the smaller size of pizza, then it was like ok you have the Gluten crust figured out but is this or that ingredient ok? Is that sauce ok? It was totally mind boggling to where I had to just say, YOU DO IT! I will admit that was a bit of a toddler move to just up and leave the room, but it is so frustrating to be trying to be low carb-Paleo then finding out now it also needs to aim towards GF. Eventually, we went and got the pizza... I was going to post a picture because of the huge dilemma and the expense of it.... but hubby ate it! I'm super sensitive to smell/taste of things so it was ok, but the smell of the different flour kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

I feel like we really cannot go many places to eat because of me, I mean in seasonings alone you can get screwed over and Id be doubled over in pain afterwards. Its that insane! I want a Chinese restaurant to at least have the option for GF soy sauce or Teriyaki sauce.

I talked to the owner of the small GF store I mentioned earlier. I asked him questions about the products whats good, whats better? I told him how I feel lost in this and am also doing Paleo-low carb and how I can skip bread but for majority of GF foods, sauces, etc.... you aren't in a very low carb category. He replied with "Yes its nearly impossible to be low carb and do GF." At this point its like I like losing weight  and I need to... not want... need. But if I am always eating gluten and cant get a handle on what is and isn't GF, then I will be in more pain again and wont be working out like I am able to currently.Yet if I am not losing weight because I cant follow the diet I WANT to follow(Paleo-low carb...IE easier than GF) then I will be discouraged there as well. Not sure what I can do about this. For right now I am going to try and keep doing what I am doing, hopefully with less gluten mistakes now that I know more about the sauces/seasonings.

I am also doing workouts pretty much everyday sometimes with a day of rest in between. Let me tell you, it is like torture to my body. I thought I was in pain before but now... its astounding the pain that comes after. Yet I keep getting told I just need to lose weight... well lets see how much it really helps! I am doing Zumba and alternating it with 2-3 mile walk/jog's. I think I may have to cut back to more rest days soon but since my birthday is coming up and I know there will be some serious carbs happening I just want to keep going until then.. until Monday.  Have you ever had to pick your leg up to move it using your arm? It makes you look like such a weirdo but hey when ya cant even move it... ya gotta do what ya gotta do! I feel like a fool doing this because deep down I know I am doing too much but I feel like I am letting everyone down if I don't... even myself. For some reason even though I hurt and I am doing this to myself by working out, it makes me feel like I look like one of those self-harm people.... they do it because they want to show their pain on the outside. Kind of the same I guess because we are considered to have "Invisible Disabilities" and when you overdo it working out(or doing whatever) you are limping, picking up your legs using your arms,etc.

I need a good massage.... and a good nights rest. I know neither of those things are going to happen anytime soon so I'm just going to do what I am doing and hope it does me well.