Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Training
So... I think I want to do a half-marathon. I want to be in shape SO badly. I am so scared of falling to wayside again as I have every time before due to pain or getting off schedule. I need to keep reminding myself I CAN do it! Today I started with my long walk with a little sprint in the middle. I'm going to put my mind to it and just do it!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Checkin in
Its been a while and I thought I might as well check in. Ive been trying to keep up with all of my blogger buddies and it seems like everyone is having a rough time right now. I'm thinking of you all and hoping things get better for all of us!
I have so much going on but not sure where to start so I think Ill just keep some of it to myself for the time being. Ive been sick with a yucky cold for a bit now and had to go to the urgency care clinic and they told me I had a sinus infection ear thing and also Bronchospams which I had never heard of before. Ive been on meds for almost a week now and they said I should be feeling better, low and behold I woke up with morning with sharp-ish pains in my back/front near where my lungs are. Been contacting my doctor all day and they supposedly couldn't get me in until tomorrow, so I left a message for the nurse to see if they want me to do an xray or what since all he can do is listen to my lungs. Now I'm waiting.... again. Hoping things get better with that stuff. It seems like one small illness like a cold turns into something much bigger. We've been TTC for a while now and the only thing besides the obvious(painful periods) is that you know there is a possibility of being pregnant yet you cant tell yet since every month is new things like taking meds for being sick is more complicated or getting xrays. It gives me such anxiety and then if this month is like every other month where I'm not pregnant, I will feel stupid for freaking out about having to take antibiotics to feel better. Its just a crazy cycle!
Some of my family recently decided that they were concerned about my "weight". Ive been left questioning my relationships with them. Some of them have never said anything negative about it and those are the people who I think try to relate to me as much as they possibly can given that they haven't been through what I have. But the others... I'm looking at them like where the hell were you?! They've all been around me since I gained the weight(years ago from meds). It all happened very fast, it was like within a year I gained all of this weight and I wasn't sitting around eating donuts or anything, I was working a physical job at the time and working out.... I was an emotional mess due to the lupron. Still though, what gives them the right to sit there and criticize me when they never said anything to me or tried to help me in the past? These are the same people that I cannot talk to if they are jerks because they cannot handle it, but its ok to talk about me and all of my supposed "character flaws"IE sarcastic and fat... LOL. I like me. I will keep trying to lose weight but I am not going to torture myself since I have chronic pain. That's all there is to it.
I have so much going on but not sure where to start so I think Ill just keep some of it to myself for the time being. Ive been sick with a yucky cold for a bit now and had to go to the urgency care clinic and they told me I had a sinus infection ear thing and also Bronchospams which I had never heard of before. Ive been on meds for almost a week now and they said I should be feeling better, low and behold I woke up with morning with sharp-ish pains in my back/front near where my lungs are. Been contacting my doctor all day and they supposedly couldn't get me in until tomorrow, so I left a message for the nurse to see if they want me to do an xray or what since all he can do is listen to my lungs. Now I'm waiting.... again. Hoping things get better with that stuff. It seems like one small illness like a cold turns into something much bigger. We've been TTC for a while now and the only thing besides the obvious(painful periods) is that you know there is a possibility of being pregnant yet you cant tell yet since every month is new things like taking meds for being sick is more complicated or getting xrays. It gives me such anxiety and then if this month is like every other month where I'm not pregnant, I will feel stupid for freaking out about having to take antibiotics to feel better. Its just a crazy cycle!
Some of my family recently decided that they were concerned about my "weight". Ive been left questioning my relationships with them. Some of them have never said anything negative about it and those are the people who I think try to relate to me as much as they possibly can given that they haven't been through what I have. But the others... I'm looking at them like where the hell were you?! They've all been around me since I gained the weight(years ago from meds). It all happened very fast, it was like within a year I gained all of this weight and I wasn't sitting around eating donuts or anything, I was working a physical job at the time and working out.... I was an emotional mess due to the lupron. Still though, what gives them the right to sit there and criticize me when they never said anything to me or tried to help me in the past? These are the same people that I cannot talk to if they are jerks because they cannot handle it, but its ok to talk about me and all of my supposed "character flaws"IE sarcastic and fat... LOL. I like me. I will keep trying to lose weight but I am not going to torture myself since I have chronic pain. That's all there is to it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)