"Useless" Anger

I'm just so annoyed right now I need to let it go so I can stop feeling like this. I don't understand people... they want me to be healthy and happy so I have been trying bunches of diets for the last couple years to combat pain while trying to lose weight. So far nothing has worked on both levels well enough. I have been doing this one I have described in previous entries now for about a month and haven't been able to really do a good workout yet because my pain is just unbearable. Well today I just really couldn't get the idea of a good walk out of my head. So because my husband had the day off I begged him to come with me. First... he says he wants to do HIS workout and then we can go. To some this isn't a big deal but he is already skinny, that's fine if he wants to workout but I needed to get walking before I was hit with pain that would combat any thoughts of going on a decent walk. Eventually he agreed.... so we hit the trails!

I was very invigorated it was just nice to be doing that again plus I like to talk and walk so we able to just shoot the shit, which is good. At the end of the walk I decide I want to jog for the last couple minutes in my new shoes! So I did... it was ok right after but the rest of the day I have been useless.

This is what I do NOT understand about "normals". They want you to be fit or whatnot and bitch at you making you feel like crap even though you've explained how many frickin times that it causes massive pain and you are then left useless for the rest of the day and sometimes days on end. So when you finally give in(because its not like you don't want to be healthier anyhow!)... and then you are left useless after the workout. You are made to feel guilty because you are not pulling your weight! WHAT?! Its pure insanity! I just don't get it... I even make dinner after all of this and my legs were the most painful and yet somehow I am doing something wrong. Guess I see where this will get me everytime, such a catch 22 situation.