Today is not a good pain day for me. I am trying to remain positive but sometimes when you have that pain to where it hurts but isnt super horrible but you know that it means it will be worse soon and theres nothing you can do about it... its hard to remain a breath of fresh air if ya know what I mean.
I am making all of these changes to myself which are good and I am glad I am doing them but the biggest thing I wish I could change is my pain, obviously! I feel like the other things I am changing would just easily fall into suit if I didnt have this pain.
For over 7 yrs I have been on birth control for Endo and recently was told by a doc that after being on it for 7 yrs the risk for stroke and heart attack go up even more than regular so I needed to decide whether to stay on it or not. Well... would I rather have more pain.. well no... but would you rather die uh thats a big NO! I still have so much to do and see in life! So I decided to get off of it, and now each month have this monster that is just getting more and more angry with me. These are the times when I think, well I know a Hysterectomy doesnt cure endo but if you cant be on continous birth control pills anymore wouldnt it be best to get one because periods contribute to this? I need to make an appt with my GYN and see whats going on, Im sure she will want ANOTHER lap. I went to more of a specialist for endo for my last surgery not my regular GYN and she said that I was in remission, yet couldnt tell me where the rest of my pain was coming from, mind you no one knows when it is back or not until doing another surgery and its been a year since I was told that and now off BCP just adds back to it Im sure.
Anywho---- today is painful and yucky. I want some relief. I feel like I could sleep for days at this point, if only I could!
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