Out with the old, In with the new... People that is

Ive decided to let my guard down for a while and try to either meet new people not online who I have similarities with or start talking to people from my past who were always amazing people. So far I may have done both! I contacted a friend from my past who now has a wonderful fiance and baby and since I know he is a great person I am not scared he will end up being a crazy... plus from the sounds of it his fiance is comparable to my personality.

It sucks that I even have to "clean house" with people though. Believe it or not I am not a mean person and am hoping this doesn't make me sound mean. I just cant take people who pretend they care about you or want to be in your life but turn around and do things that show the exact opposite.

 I recently started talking to an old friend of mine who was always really fun, she was someone I met when I started working at a grocery store and we went to the same high school. We both had hard times during high school and leaned on each other and drank...a lot. We talked a couple times and it felt like old times minus the fact that I am married and have a kid. She said she wasn't really partying anymore and sounded like she was growing up. I saw all her pictures on FB and half of them she is half naked... to me that is trying a bit hard. Posting pictures in general of my family freaks me out but I especially don't put 1/2 naked pics of me up where you can tell the person is really trying to be... THAT GIRL. Just makes it kind of weird for me because I wouldn't want my husband to end up looking at my FB and see her pics, its that bad. But I was overlooking it for the time being because I thought she has some issues and she is a nice person. As I talk more to her, it becomes more and more apparent she doesn't give a crap about anyone but herself. One night she was even supposed to call me and then just didn't, never heard anything since about, "oh sorry _____________ came up."

Just kind of hurts when you realize(in any relationship) that you care more about the person then they do about you. I think that is the point where you need to decide if that person is worth wasting your time over. 

I don't think a couple people in my life are worth me wasting my time. As my father pointed out to me recently when talking about some family drama... would you let anyone in your life cause you physical pain by punching you etc? I said no of course not, and he said "Well, why are you letting these people cause you physical pain with their drama?"(because of my chronic pain). All I can say is thanks dad! Because now I get it, something clicked. I don't have to be a jerk but I can be honest and if people wonder why I am not  asking them how they are anymore I can tell them.... because I cared more about you than you did about me and I need a friend sometimes too, I'm not your groupie.