The last couple of days have been interesting. Kind of busy but not anything that HAS to be done, yet still cant find time to be ok. There is always something crazy going on with MIL since her dad(my hubby's grandpa) has cancer, its like she twists everything her way even if it doesn't really involve her. So we have to go straight to the horses mouth whether its about hubby's childhood or grandpa's cancer. Its a lot of run around. Normally she could care less about hubby and seeing him or LO its ridiculous. Hubby mentioned to her that we were going to do a little Easter egg hunt here for my niece/nephew, kids around, of course LO. She then decides to take it upon herself to ask if we are going to color Easter eggs, I said yes since LO is finally old enough but that is before Easter. She invites herself... not that its a HUGE deal or anything but just like when we do gingerbread houses at xmas, its usually a 3 of us thing, especially since I have so many health issues and overall craziness going on.
I was talking to my mom today about things and told her this tidbit, which in the past she knows/has seen all the crazy off-the-wall things MIL has done. Yet she is like, just let her come its not that big of a deal... I wanted to just say SHUT UP..... but instead I said I know its not a big deal but this is our time to do a holiday thing with just us, the rest of the holiday time(at any holiday) is always split up between parents and we don't get our own holiday time typically and this year I am making it happen. Why cant she just listen to me vent instead of making me feel like I am being crazy. I stopped talking about it and listened to her as usual. She has been telling me about this or that "friend" drama over the last year or so and it is still a battle, I feel like she just shouldn't even see this person if its such a big deal yet she does... that's her choice and I listen to her vent and am fine with it. Yet today when I am venting about hubby's college stuff, and how its very screwed up so he is switching schools... she halfway into my sentence cuts me off and is like "I need to start dinner." and gives me a finishing line. She wasn't mad or anything but she does this often after getting everything she wants vented out. I am starting to get pissed off.
Why is it that when I talk to others they can get their whole life story or vents out but when I start they end up cutting me off? With the exception of a couple of good friends. Not to mention my depression has not yet lifted so this sent me into another little bit of sadness that my own mother just doesn't give a crap unless we are talking about my sibling(who is a jerk to her).
I feel so judged by so many people whether I am out and about or at my home when certain people come to visit. Its this unexplainable sickness it leaves me with, that I cannot understand. I don't know why people do it and I don't know how to sift the good weeds from the bad.
But in good news, I am getting my stitches out tomorrow morning! Hooray! Hoping I have no infections! I am having this weird leg stabbing pain that is a brand new pain, its like in the back of my thigh to behind my knee, almost vein feeling. Its horrible when it happens. There is always something new to add to my list of symptoms.
Hoping this depression lifts soon because I feel like a maniac at this point and no longer wish to feel this way or be in this much pain. I hate endo... and fibro... and any other condition that causes pain for extended periods of time.
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