Life as I know it, moving on...

I realize this morning that there are so many more important things in life that are good things that just focusing on bad news, bad health problems, bad anything really doesn't do them justice. The bad will only conquer the good if I let it. I am trying more and more to do things I want to do, like crazy things...stupid things... FUN things! I don't care if someone else thinks what I do is stupid or that I am embarrassing(haven't been told this yet but Ive got time). None of us know the day we will leave this earth, and as far as Ive heard no one has gotten out alive so its time to live it up!

Yesterday I remember being in the car with hubby and LO and listening to music as the sun beamed into the car. I was holding hubby's hand and LO was being so good and we were on the way to the park. I had remembered everything I needed to bring(snacks,drinks,coats,etc). Its so simple but it made me so unbelievable happy to where I remember thinking, if I died today I would be ok with it because I was so in the moment and happy. Which is a total change from where I have been.

Now I just read my blogger friend's entry today over at As Good as Gluten about Ice cream. I am a lover of ice cream, whether your skinny or fat, small or tall, adult or child...there is always some flavor out there for you! Which is why I love it, you could have someone with a restricted diet but there is always a way to make ice cream! I love banana ice cream when I can find it! I had found one at cold stone not long ago and it was even sugar free which I was stoked about! BUT my favorite of all time because I was raised in the Midwest is BLUE MOON! Ive heard of it described as a fruit loopy taste that is so creamy and wonderful that it just cannot be topped. I agree but I have a connection to it, it takes me back to childhood and all the simple and great things associated with it. Its the small downtown candy shop, its trips with my grandparents or other relatives. If I was dying this would be what I would want my last food to be.  Since I don't live there anymore I have yet to be able to find it anywhere remotely near me. I found a recipe, so I think if I can find an affordable ice cream maker I will try to make it. I began to think of the infinite possibilities of healthy but amazingly good ice creams that I could make with it, why limit myself to just GF, SF baked goods?!

YES! My indescribable friend...

Hubby's hours have gotten cut back even more starting this week so he only worked 2 days. BUT again I am so happy to have him home. I enjoy spending time with him and making our relationship better and better, not that its bad but for some people its hard to be around each other 24/7 without work "breaks". We are doing well though and this way I am a bit more free to go sketch, paint, bake, cook,etc.

I keep getting this horrendous stomach/pelvic pain each day so I am looking forward to seeing my GYN to see if she help me. I think one day someone will figure out what is wrong with me, I think a lot of it has to do with the Lupron and the fact that its a anti-cancer drug(chemo classified). But things will be ok and I do truly believe it. At some point I'm sure I will have to come back to this post when I get sad again because its a cycle of chronic pain sufferer's but I hope to read all of these small goals and things I love and how happy I can be.

The dark side will not win.