I am on these hormones for some of my issues so in general I am overemotional and I know it. Today was a day that things kept going wrong.
I wanted to get my haircut on a Sunday, pretty much no places in my small town are open on Sunday.... then the places in the big city are open later in the afternoon. Had to wait for hubby to exercise so he could go into town with me. I had scheduled an appt and wasn't some walk in or anything, and ended up with an older gentleman. Ive never had a guy cut my hair especially one who could be my grandpa at a hair salon(not barber shop!) and he was NOT gay. He definitely had some old school methods and he was nice, but I felt like things didn't end up even. I felt so bad that he was old and all of that, I said a couple things to him for him to even it out but didn't complain to anyone. Then he just HAD to be the one to ring me up at the register(this was at mall salon inside a major store), then asked if I wanted to add anything on to my bill(meaning tip). I'm sorry but I had warm water that had went down my whole back/shirt when he washed my hair, but I didn't complain because it was an accident I'm sure. Then in general my hair stuff, plus he took double the time it would normally take someone. PLUS their prices randomly went up and we are still poor. So I had to say no to the tip... not to be mean or a cheapskate but because I don't have money and it wasn't that great of an experience and then I felt like a jackass.
Before we left the house I noticed that now we have bigger ants and was freaking out. Bugs in general gross me out but I'm so sick of dealing with it. I had to call around and get quotes for exterminators and of course it takes time for you to see a big difference which pisses me off because I am one of those people who want instant gratification. Plus the fact that we don't have money and here we go spending more kind of sucks.
Then we have my dad's fathers day dinner to go to and I was supposed to make a potato salad... but since I had ants I didn't even want to stand in my kitchen. So I bought one, and it was expensive and not as good as mine.
By the time I got into my parents drive way I was on full breakdown mode. Sobbing to where I couldn't breathe and finally telling my husband how I felt like a crazy person. Why am I so crazy?! Why do I feel like this?! Am I ever going to get fully better?! What is wrong with me? Everything is so off with me today that I felt like I needed to write it down. I need to re-group. Because after all what is "normal" anyways?
2 comments:
I'm sorry it's been a tough time. I definitely know the feeling when everything just hits at once and the feeling crazy just comes over you. I hope you start to feel a bit better soon and you are not crazy or alone. If I could give you a hug I would. :) You are strong and you are going through a lot. It's okay to be upset. <3
Thank you dear, you are so nice! You are a strong person too. I admire how you keep such a positive outlook when things are rough.
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