After playing phone tag with my doctor since last week, we finally got a chance to talk about my results. I asked if he had a patient who hadn't been on Lupron what would he typically suggest. He said some med that regulates the testosterone and a birth control pill WITH estrogen... which for me would never work considering with endo that is bad news. He also agreed more than just the couple were out of range, due to the "varied" markings from the blood lab they don't say if they are but they were. I'm glad I have concrete showings that my body is clearly messed up hormonally and now I can start looking at more things that are messed up. He told me that the things that are off usually cause or are the cause of ovarian dysfunction. I did some research and its pretty serious. While I am blessed that I was able to have my LO and I did so earlier in life due to fear of not being able to have a kid, I feel such guilt for having her after being on Lupron. I don't know what it has done to her considering I still struggle with what its done to her. I am hoping she was somehow unfazed by it. I am scared to even try for another child because of miscarriages and I don't want to pass anything unhealthy onto a innocent child. I'm detoxing as much crap as I can out of my system but that's all I can do.
Today is a bad pain day since I have been out of my regimen. Hoping for good things and thankful that I have the people that I do in my life. I feel sorry for myself sometimes and have a pity party but when it comes down to it I love my family/friends who have been great enough to stay in my life. Those people that cant handle it or that try to make me feel bad for being me(whether its because I'm sick or because of my weight from being sick) they can go down another road in life. I am trying to keep looking forward and not back, nothing can be changed at this point but I can try to be proactive about it by researching.
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