Go away Pain.... no one likes you....

Today I am in so much pain... yet here I am trying not to take anything for it. When I first met my new family physician(couple months ago) I told him I was trying to go as natural as possible for all of my pain issues. So he told me about Melatonin because at the time I was on Valerian Root for sleep and it was making me groggy. Melatonin works good but I have some messed up dreams while on it so I have stayed off for a while now. Since the accident I was given muscle relaxers and pain meds... not a bunch but enough to last me a week or two and since I don't use much it'll last me 2 weeks for sure. My regular doc was out of office that day so it wasn't even him who saw me, it was a colleague. I am going to go see my doc this week and want to talk about possible muscle relaxer for me on bad pain days. Before he was telling me that pain meds are not something I want when I am trying to workout because it can mask the pain and then you over-do it, plus pain meds don't really do anything for fibro. I left thinking he was right, but soon after I remember thinking what about my Endo pain though, because pain meds do help endo...??

Given what he said I am scared to even bring it up... so I'm bringing my lovely husband with me. So if I am treated like a drug addict all of the sudden or something crazy, I have someone to stand up for me there. I hope it goes well because I cannot imagine dealing with healing from this accident in this much pain for possible the next 1-2months(as you all know Fibro takes much longer to heal compared to "normals).

Went car shopping this weekend. We have been looking since I got into the accident. I finally drove again on Saturday during a test drive... I was fucking freaked out. I didn't say anything but I was. Then the next day when heading out to possibly go buy our new car I told hubby that I would drive there. I am fine with my husband there or if it was just me in the car but when LO is in the back it makes me nervous, I feel like I cannot protect her from an accident. Makes me nervous. Anyhow--- we ending up buying another Hybrid! I didn't think Id ever love---a car---again... but I do! Hubby has his hybrid that we have never had issues with and he loves it for his commute, now I have one too, different models but still amazing. I love getting good MPG's and possibly helping the environment by just using a different car. Plus leather seats... Im not a person who has to have luxury but leather is SO much easier to wipe off than trying to scrub stuff off of cloth seats.

Because Hybrids are cool...

More family drama happening. B randomly called me on Saturday night while I was in the middle of making dinner and my hands were all messy so I couldn't pick up, of course no message. Oddly enough, that was the same day I know M was watching B's kids so I know they saw each other, and I told M not to say ANYTHING to B about my accident or anything about my life. When I tried to call B back to find out what was going on(if I need to have a talking to with M)about 15 minutes after he called me, he wouldn't pick up. I even texted him, no answer still. What a shock. So I know something was said otherwise why would B have called me out of the blue, just happening to be on the same day as being around M... I don't believe it was a coincidence. Now I am left with wondering and harboring feelings of did M or D betray my trust? I don't want to call and accuse them because I do not know what was said but I am not going to keep calling B because as I knew and believed before, he clearly doesn't even want to talk to me. I really don't want to talk or deal with him myself.

Always something going on here... I also had some stuff that gluten in it yesterday and today feel awful from that issue. I just want to stop dealing with my "health issues" for like a day. If only wishes could come true.